Hyperactivity is not a parenting problem, it is a neurological trait

A child with ADHD knows the rules and often wants to follow them. The problem is not knowledge but execution: the brain’s “brake” system, which holds back a movement, delays a response and keeps attention on an uninteresting task, works later and more weakly than in peers. That is why punishment and scolding do not work: the child knows what to do but cannot hold themselves back in that moment. Constant criticism, on the other hand, creates a second problem, low self-esteem, and that problem is often heavier than the ADHD itself.

Not every active child has ADHD. In preschool years, high activity is part of the norm. For a diagnosis, the signs must last at least 6 months, appear in at least two settings (home and preschool or school), and truly get in the way of the child’s functioning: learning, friendships, safety. According to international guidelines, the diagnosis is not made before age 4. A neurologist also checks for conditions that can look similar: a sleep disorder, a hearing problem, absence seizures, developmental delay, anxiety.

Without support, ADHD can lead to school failure, the label of “lazy” or “bad kid,” difficulty with friendships and risky behavior in the teen years. With support, the same child learns to channel their energy and creativity. According to the international clinical guideline, at ages 4–6 the first choice is behavior therapy based on parent training; after age 6, medication together with behavioral support gives the best result. Medication does not change personality; it helps manage attention. The decision is always made together with the family.

• Short, clear instructions: instead of “clean your room,” say “put the toys in the box,” then give the next step.
• Immediate feedback: acknowledge success in that very moment; rewards and consequences given hours later do not work.
• Daily routine and a visual schedule: the same times for sleep, meals and homework; a picture plan on the wall.
• Movement breaks: after 15–20 minutes of homework, 5 minutes of movement; plan movement rather than ban it.
• Sleep: a sleep-deprived child shows much stronger ADHD symptoms; no screens for an hour before bed.
• Together with school: simple measures agreed with the teacher, such as sitting in the front row, breaking tasks into parts and extra time.
• Looking after yourself: the parent of a child with ADHD tires easily; support groups and psychologists are there for parents too.

The signs are present both at home and at preschool or school, last more than 6 months, get in the way of your child’s learning or relationships, the teacher has raised concerns, or your child has started saying “I’m bad.” Come to the visit with a short note from the teacher and specific observations from home. More detail: hyperactivity and attention deficit.

This article is for educational purposes and does not replace an exam.